I’d Like to Lie Down, Now

I’m tired. I’ve probably said this already, and I’ll probably say it again, but it’s the truth. I have kids, and some of them are young. I work full-time, and most days I wake up very early so I can finish my work day in time to pick up the kids from school. Maybe you’ve heard, but there’s a virus out there, a new one, and the world’s still trying to figure out how to deal with it. There’s a lot going on, and, even with all of that, I’m still writing and posting stuff here. I have to ask myself why? Am I crazy?

The answer, obviously, is yes. I actually think that, if I build a website, use social media to spread the word, and publish my stories, I might be able to succeed at this ‘writing’ thing. And I’m doing it at one of the most difficult times in my life. I must be out of my mind to try to build a writing ‘career’, for lack of a better word, right now, and especially to do it on my own.

Unfortunately, it’s always one of the most difficult times in my life. Life is hard, and I’ve always had to work hard just to stay where I am. If I wanted to get ahead, I had to work harder, and I’d bet dollars-to-donuts that I’m not the only person in that position. In fact, everyone is in the same position. If we want to do anything different, we need to work harder, and longer, and through tough times in order to achieve success. So I’m writing a rambling, semi-coherent blog in an effort to put something out today, and forcing myself to build a habit of putting something out every day.

There are others out there that are doing the same thing, too. Working two jobs, working extra shifts, working on side projects, writing, creating art, singing and making music, making independent films. Every single one of them is trying to achieve something, to create something, to build something new, and every single one of them is the beautiful kind of crazy that thinks it can change the world. The only thing they need to do in order to pull it off is to work hard, harder than they ever have before.

But they’re probably tired, too. It takes a lot to do something new, to build something, and to put ourselves out there for an audience of strangers, and it wears us out. But we’re crazy enough to think it’ll work, and we’re too crazy to stop. So let me tell y’all, keep going. I’m tired. Heck, I’m exhausted. I don’t get a lot of sleep anymore, but I can’t get my imagination to stop, and I’m crazy enough to think that maybe I can write that stuff down and entertain someone.

If you’re tired, if you’re overworked, if you need some downtime, know that I’m right there with you, but don’t quit, you beautiful lunatic. Whatever you’re making is something someone else needs. If your stuff was out there already, you would have found it, and you wouldn’t need to make your own thing. But it’s not, and even if someone else’s version is, yours won’t be unless you put it out. So take a break, maybe even a nap. Have a snack, read a book, listen to some music, do whatever you need to recharge, then get back into it.

I promise, it’ll get easier. The load won’t get lighter, but if you keep going, you’ll get stronger, and you’ll attract help. I know you’re tired, I’m tired, too, but if we want to change the world, or even just we own little corner of it, we have to keep working.

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